First of all, let’s be clear. Vanessa is writing this. Cole is somewhere setting a jet or something. Because I am a woman I will issue a DISCLAIMER: I am not a regular viewer of the program and I AM drinking. I am also hanging out with my friend Mandy (hey girl!) and she is also drinking. (So you can picture it- we are on the couch with one of my dogs. Mandy is a small beautiful Australian. I am none of these three but I am feeling rambunctious tonight.)
OVERALL NOTE: Take anything bitchy I say with a grain of salt. Bottom line: these are all amazing performers and I love how positive the program is. As a whole, the show frustrates me, because I’m pretty sure my body didn’t come with some standard issue joints. How do they DO that?
IT BEGINS: The show kicks off with what I am CERTAIN is Anne Hathaway in a Marilyn Monroe costume. I didn’t know she was on this show! And why can’t she afford a better wig? Oh, it’s NOT Anne Hathaway! It is a completely different person who can’t afford a better wig. And her name is Cat Deely and apparently she is the Ryan Seacrest of the show. (I tell this comparison to Mandy, and she says, “She’s not like Ryan Seacrest at all! Isn’t he wee? Isn’t she a monster? He would be like a little parrot on her shoulder!”)
Boom! Flash! Dancers run out, do a fun Westside Story-esque strut and shimmy- then STRIKE A POSE. I love it when people strike poses!
Now, we go to the judges!:
