Cole here! It’s the Top 8! It’s new(ish) All-Stars! It’s a recap! Here we go…

After the usual quick dancer intros, Cat Deely appears in a tight fitting white placemat dress and quickly introduces our JUHs (this time she took on the first syllable and let the audience fill in the rest, like that thing on Sesame Street or Electric Company or whatever it was—“Juh” “Jez”…”Juh”…”Jez”…”Juhjez!”). And my, what a colorful panel it ‘twas! Rob Marshall, director of Chicago and the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean flick, is so brightly orange he makes Mary Murphy look like Edward Cullen. Lady GaGa is here! She’s dressed like a Sgt. Pepper carnival nightmare, with giant red stilty shoes, round sunglasses, minty green hair and a red leather Captain’s cap. Mary and Nigel are there per usual as well. We learn that there are going to be twelve routines (oh lordy), each dancer with an All-Star and then paired together. Read More | Comments

Vanessa here! Well, I haven’t watched the show since the last time I recapped, which feels like ages ago.  And from the look on Cat Deeley’s face, it was ages ago.  We are all ready for this to be over. Cole seems to be “unavailable” to do these recaps more and more frequently, and quite frankly, I am suspicious.

That “results night” even exists is very frustrating.  This whole show could be handled in two minutes or a quick list online.  But they know it’s cheap to make and they know we will watch it.  AND WE DO.

We start the night with a group number in BROADWAY STYLE; mind-blowingly to the song “On Broadway.”  From what I can gather, “Broadway Style” dance entails sparkly bowler hats– or if you think outside of the box, a sparkly top hat.  This whole opening number is very show-choir-meets-Burlesque and judging from the glitter-explosion at the end, Ke$ha had some h@nd in this fuckery. Read More | Comments

Cole here! On my command—release the All-Stars! It’s time for the top ten dancers to be matched up with some of the best and most dynamic dancers the show ever saw! After their brief individual dance intros, Cat Deely appears in a tight shiny black dress with gold details (with echoes of those Egyptian dancers from that Michael Jackson “Black or White” video) and sets the stage—in addition to their routines, each dancer will be doing a solo. It’s time to meet our—JUDGES! (Audience 1, Cat 0) and, lo and behold, it’s Neil Patrick Harris, looking dapper in a striped suit! It’s Mary Murphy, looking more and more like Chester Cheetah every time we see her. It’s executive producer Nigel Lythgoe, who evidently put on his yuk-yuk cummerbund tonight as he attempted to plant zingers throughout the show. Nigel announces the on sale date for the summer tour (July 29th, for those of you interested in trying to land some sweet seats), and Neil congratulates Nigel on the success of the show and its impact on dance. To the routines! Read More | Comments

Ok, ok, Cole here. I know I missed the results show recap last week, and I’ll endeavor to do it tonight, but for the business at hand—it’s the last performance show for the top six couples! After this week, they’ll be split up and paired with SYTYCD All-Stars. Cat Deely, in a silvery dress with what appears to be ostrich feathers looks lovely as always (I exclaimed, out loud, to no one, “Oooh! A sparkly!” a la Jeremy the crow in Secret of Nimh when she appeared) intros all of the dancers, and then it’s time to meet our judges (Cat goes back to letting the audience fill in her catch phrase again, thus officially starting the “Will she say or won’t she say it?” Cat Deely drinking game). It’s special guest Jesse Tyler Ferguson from one of the best comedies on television Modern Family! He’s a big fan of the show and seems super tickled to be there. Next is intense choreographer Sonya Tayeh, wearing her usual Mad Max casual. Mary Murphy and Nigel Lythgoe are there as always, and are about to lock lips when Cat stops them. I only wish Cat had stopped several of the contestants and choreographers, who once again are obsessed with osculation! Read More | Comments

Before I launch into the results show, let me just say this:

This episode has an M. Night Shymalanian twist that YOU WON’T SEE COMING.

Except that I just warned you about it.

It’s Thursday, so it’s time to trim the dance fat, so to speak. Cat appears in a cute pink number and kicks off the opening titles. Then it’s time for a full-cast opening number, set to M.I.A.’s “Xr2,” a thumping electronic dancehall number that quickens the pulse a bit. The dancers wardrobe is very gothic-slutty-Clockwork Orange, complete with Droog canes. The movement is very fierce, strong, precise and a little weird, which means this has to been a Sonya Tayeh routine. Which it is. It’s a fairly strong opener, but it feels like another attempt to capture the magic of that Wade Robson/Roisin Murphy “Ramalama (Bang Bang)” routine from seasons past. Did I just out myself as a hardcore regular watcher? I believe I did. Read More | Comments